I wish we said “fancy” in America. As in, “I fancy you.” It’s such a more agreeable term than “I have a crush on you.” What’s a crush? Like, I AM A BOA CONSTRICTOR AND I AM GOING TO IMMOBILIZE YOU WITH MY MISPLACED AND OBSESSIVE AFFECTION. “I fancy you” is like, you’re so shiny and glittery and I just want to put you on a shelf and look at you for a while ‘cause you’re fancy.
in australia we just exchange boomerangs
Remember there was almost another twilight book but someone leaked it so Stephanie Meyer refused to finish and I’m 98% sure it was Robert Pattinson and god bless him
Fun shark attack facts:
- In 1996, toilets injured 43,000 Americans a year. Sharks injured 13.
- In 1996, 2,600 Americans were injured by room fresheners. Sharks injured 13.
- In 1996, buckets and pails injured almost 11,000 Americans. Sharks injured 13.
- For every human killed by a shark, humans kill approximately two million sharks.
- Humans are assholes.
- Sharks are not assholes.
- Apparently everyone in 1996 lived in a real-life infomercial.
every library is a bookstore if you are willing to pay the fines
FACT OF THE DAY: you can do it
when the person u hate does something that makes everyone else hate them:
Being a grown-up means paying for your own Disney vacations.
Hey girl, are you a Shakespearean play? Because you seem hard to date, but it would be awesome if I could.
Some snazzy looking textless Disney Renaissance posters I’ve come across so far.
I dream to someday run a companies twitter
Can we just talk about Smart Car doing math on how much bird shit it would take to damage their cars?
I hate it when netflix pauses and asks me if im still watching like yeah you actually think i got up and started doing something with my life put my show back on
If you don’t like Monty Python you’re wrong